Monday, March 28, 2011

Those Darn Kids, Nudge Nudge, Wink Wink

Don’t you love how Disney had a cow those few short years ago about Ellen DeGeneres being gay to now being so “up” with modern times that incest is simply loaded with hilarious humor for kids of all ages? “The New American Family” I think they brand this enlightenment. Two geeky white kids with the overdone quasi-Hungarian accents to let us know how quirkily lovable those wacky foreigners are, are brother and sister. Sister’s talking about dating and how she longs for a future husband. Brother’s right along with it, goofy and wistful. Then the needle scratches the record: “You do know we’re not getting married, right?” she says to him, clearly meaning they won’t be marrying one another despite how much he clearly wants it.

Yeah.

Obviously I’m distraught and not hearing properly, as the only reason I’m subjected to a tween Disney sitcom called 'Shake It Up' about two teen dancers and their wacky friends is that I’m in a hospital waiting room with no means of changing the channel or turning the TV off.

I’m no prude here…and granted there’s an actual TV show called ‘Sister Wives’ on another cable channel for the Cletus grown folks among us…but…dude? Disney trying for yucks out of a guy desperately wanting to do his sister? Eww.

And not to pine for the days of glory holes and conservatives, but is bestiality up next? Disney has a lot of animal characters, real and cartoon, so I'm just wondering. Will 'Lilo & Stitch' be reimagined as 'Stitch in Lilo'? Just sitting here in a hospital full of the sick and dying. You know, that whole microcosm thing. With a TV show getting jokes off that 13 year old incest buzz. Ha ha, right? Please take any future jokes about Corbin Bleu’s name in stride. Cool. As long as we understand each other.

Bright, colorful kiddie porn is the new lesbianism. Get up with the times, people. (Oh, there's already a show called 'Toddlers & Tiaras'? Surely it's never watched--Oh, renewed for a 3rd season? Oh. Ok.)

Fuck.